Potty Training Humor

Yesterday was Day 1 of Operation-No-More-Diapers for Bugaboo. Now, I’ve potty trained a girl.  I should be somewhat familiar with this process.  I figure I’ve got this figured out. Slam dunk.  Not!  I forgot that Munchkin pretty much potty trained herself with her bladder of steel (only child I know who can drink 16 oz of juice, go to bed, get up and stay awake a few hours before hitting the potty – never had a UTI child).

So we figure it is time to potty train Bugaboo who is showing interest in big boy underwear and pottying.

We talk to daycare and are all on the same page.  I buy the big boy underwear. It has the cute Thomas characters on it (do you know the character underwear is $9 a pack versus $4 for plain blue ones, but I digress)  We talk everything up and we are all set.  Right? ………..Wrong.

There are decisions to make. Decisions that I am not equipped (literally) to answer.

Will he sit or stand while learning?  What sort of potty training device should I buy? A stool? A seat?  How about a urinal?  I didn’t even know they made urinals!

What about in public?  Do I teach him to wipe the seat and sit? Cover it in paper and sit? Do I lift him up and help him hover? Does he stand and do I lift him if he can’t reach?  How about we just stay home FOREVER!

What about targets? Do you know that there are people who actually buy targets instead of using cheerios, fruit loops or whatever else they have in the cabinet.  Seriously? People pay money to buy something for their child to literally piss on.  Hmmmmmm (missed $$ opportunity for me there)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So I sat down with my husband figuring he would know the answers to my questions.  Not so much. Turns out that having male anatomy does not automatically vest you with information about how to teach your child to use it.  My husband was most amused with my questions.

Me – do you hold it?

DH – What?

Me – do you hold it? or does it aim itself? Do you wipe or shake?

DH – Are you serious?

Me – yes, come on. You really don’t want to know what pops up when you google this kind of thing.  Just tell me.  Okay fine – easy question. Should we have him sit or stand?

DH – I don’t care.

Me – but aren’t you concerned he might get confused if we teach him to sit when doing #2 and standing while doing #1?

DH – I don’t know.  I don’t remember being potty trained.

So last night was night one.  I picked him up in daycare where he proudly announced he “pee peed on the potty” and had no accidents. Yippee!  We rushed home and I encouraged him to go on the potty. He sat. He went.  I patted myself on the back.   Then I walked out of the bathroom to see the puppy had peed on the floor.  I cleaned it up, set clock to remind myself to take Bugaboo back to bathroom, started dinner and Bugaboo announced he peed.  All over the kitchen floor. Okay no biggie.  Cleaned him up. Fed everyone. Put dog out. Took Bugaboo to potty where he did nothing.  Let dog in. Dog pees everywhere. Clean it up and Bugaboo says “I pee pee too” – on the floor.  Put Bugaboo in bath.  Turn around and puppy has peed. AGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

End result.  Bugaboo – 50% success on potty.  Puppy – 50% success outside.   Mommy – 50% chance of successfully going crazy. 

Maybe this isn’t such a bad idea……………

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9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. mssc54
    Sep 07, 2011 @ 18:30:49

    One thing that helped our little as well as both grandsons is we bought big boy underwear with their favorite “character” on them (spiderman, spongebob, etc.).

    Be sure you don’t potty on Spiderman now.

    Reply

  2. Legally Insane Mommy
    Sep 08, 2011 @ 09:44:16

    Oh yes. We have Cars, Thomas and sports balls. Totally worth the extra $6 to pay for the characters. Although there was one meltdown when the “mess” on Thomas was too disgusting to clean and I threw them out. (note to self- do not do that in front of him again)

    Reply

  3. Trackback: My Boy Peed On Me the Other Day… - Fatherhood | First Time Papa
  4. lawyerchik1
    Sep 10, 2011 @ 12:42:00

    This made me laugh out loud!! Hilarious!! (It’s been one of those days….)

    Seems to me, though, that when my brothers were little, the oldest one was potty trained by using the stool first (like a little potty chair) for both, and then as he mastered bladder control, he “graduated” to standing to pee. The youngest one … well, we lived in South America when he was learning, and the little boys down there ran around without pants or diapers, so they went outside in the bushes when they had to go….. NOT recommended for the 21st-century U.S.!! 🙂

    [Good luck!! Although I’ll bet the puppy is potty-trained before the boy! ;)]

    Reply

  5. mssc54
    Sep 10, 2011 @ 13:36:04

    ALMOST FORGOT! I don’t know how you feel about this or if you are “set up” for this but boys REALLY like a good ol pee tree out in the back yard. Our seven year old son and six year old grandson have contests to see who can pee the farthest up the privacy fence! Lol

    Reply

  6. Legally Insane Mommy
    Sep 10, 2011 @ 19:02:29

    Oh yes. He loves to pee outside. I never thought about a contest to see who can pee up the highest or furthest though!

    Reply

  7. notesfromrumbleycottage
    Sep 14, 2011 @ 01:19:03

    When my oldest was three, my husband taught him to go outside. And when we were at the ice cream place he did just that at the only tree in the parking lot. Whipped it right out. Thank God we were the only ones there.

    Reply

  8. Trackback: Terrible Twos-days! It’s Potty Time! |
  9. Trackback: Lessons from a Three-Year-Old: Context is Everything! « 6:33 Woman

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